Starting over

Hi to all that have taken the time to read this blog.

I started a blog, approximately a month ago, that initially I started off on the wrong foot and so I decided to start a new one with the truth and things that really matter to me . . . not just sarcasm and self.

I want to say now that I have one thing that matters the most to me, though I'm surrounded by beautiful and meaningful people in my life . . . Jesus matters the most to me. I was fortunate that I was raised in a God-based household. My dad and mom pastored a church for 15 years and I grew up knowing that culture. Knowing religion. There's an extreme difference in knowing Jesus personally and being religious. I knew Jesus but didn't really grasp him as a personal God until I was a little older. I'm learning daily how His love has the power to break bondages and heal wounds. But thats not all either . . . there are so many dimensions to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that I couldn't even come close to understanding them all. My favorite part about knowing Jesus is He loves me on a personal level . . . He cares about me, even in the minute details of life. Over and over again I've seen Him come through in a time of need . . . and even bless me in a way that wasn't exactly a need but a desire I had. But even that seems petty compared to the intensely wonderful presence that surrounds me when He meets me in my quiet times with Him! The stuff no one sees, thats what I cherish. Its nice to be recognized, to receive material possessions and be a part of a great worship service . . . but the best is the look in my saviours eyes when I'm alone with Him and He meets me on the deepest level of my soul . . . bringing light to the darkest parts of me. Thats what I love.

So many people strive and strive to accomplish this with human relationships (me included), we look to our husbands, boyfriends, family, etc . . . to be able to fulfill our longings, to touch those areas deep down . . . that we aren't even fully aware of . . . only our creator knows the complexity of our personalities and of our soul! How do we expect a mere human to understand us fully when we don't even understand ourselves fully. We all need Jesus to commune with us, to openly love us to the fullest. But because He created us with self-will, it takes our initiation to get that relationship started. I have to be willing to lay down all my rights, my preconceptions, my religion, myself, and humbly trust Him . . . because He is a truely good God! And not just once, but all the time. Its a relationship, not a figment of my imagination, not a fairy or a ghost . . . but a true and living God that desires our hearts to belong to Him.

So thats where I'm at. 30 years old, raised around God stuff and just now getting how important it is to have a personal, ongoing, relationship with my saviour!! I neglect that, I'm basically claiming I can do this life on my own, and I step out of His grace.

Good jumping off place for this blog site. I would love comments and feedback!