Tobias

Yep, Tobias is going to be 3 years old in April. Holy cow. Anyway, we (Justin and I) decided it was time to potty train. So we started today. So far, so good. Though it is the first day and it's only 2pm (yeah, they're napping) :). But we got one successful potty and no accidents . . . :) You would think he won us a million bucks when he went pee the first time in his potty chair. We were excited, he was excited because we were excited and Sam just stared at us trying to figure out what all the excitement was about. :)

Anyway, I was worried I was starting too early but my fears have been laid to rest and it's just forward from here. Thank you Jesus for giving me your patience and grace in this time.
I know, I'm a bit dramatic. :) hee hee

Well, that's all for now. I'll keep ya'll updated . . . with limited detail of the potty times. :) Ok, I'm going.

Imagine Creation

Those who know me know that I, and my sister Amy, have been slowly putting together a stationery and stationery products company called Imagine Creation. I just wanted to update all.

Imagine Creation is still in the works. We have gotten some of our products printed up, thanks to Amy!! And we hope to expand our website and sell locally (eventually). This is an important part of who I am, so I thought I'd include it for those who know me and for those who are getting to know me.

Check out the slide show below and if you are at all interested, please contact me . . . prices are super negotiable! The products that we had printed recently are gorgeous!! There is a range of paper products that we can use, as well as printing processes. Feel free to email me!!! stacy@imaginecreation.com.


Thank you all for reading! God bless!

hi

Justin has been on break from school and work study since the 18th of December. Doesn't seem like that long, but I do believe I am getting mighty spoiled. There is such a transition that I go through when he's working/schooling long hours and days on end. I do fine, I pray a lot more. :) Or so I tell myself. But this is the longest we've had together as a family . . . well, ever . . . with no interuptions. I thank God earnestly for this time, it's precious and it's fleeting . . . since J will be back to school the 7th of January . . . and back to work study (which is what he does when he's not in class or at the fire house). But I'm also praying for the grace to transition, smoothly, into the next phase of this journey. I know God will meet me and help me out . . . I'm not alone! Not even when I'm by myself . . . I'm not alone!

So, if you think of us these cold upcoming months of January and February, pray for us. :)

Well, we're going to go enjoy a movie (rented) and eat stuff that's bad for us and veg out.

Blessed Christmas . . .

I'm like most people . . . shopping does help fuel the Christmas spirit a little. When I'm able to go out and purchase stuff to bless people and my kids. This year is super tight, financially, due to school. That I don't normally talk about, we chose the path we're on, I don't expect sympathy from anyone for that reason. Also I don't talk about financial struggles cuz God has come through EVERY time for our needs (and wants). He's a personal God that truly cares and loves us individually!

So that said. . . we weren't going to buy any presents, not even for the kids. Though two weeks prior to Christmas we broke down and bought Toby two firetrucks. I'm not sure the reasoning at the time and I'm not sure why we didn't purchase anything for Sam . . . though he doesn't really notice those things yet . . . everything that's Toby's is his too, right? :) Then about 10 days out from Christmas day, I get a phone call from the secretary at our church. She explained there was family in the church that had called the church office asking if they knew of a family in need that they could bless for Christmas. She said that we were the first mentioned (not sure by whom) and was asking my permission to let them bless us for the holidays. Of course I said yes. The pastors and some of the staff are good friends of ours and they know our personal lives relatively well. I never really think of us as needy . . . just having to live by faith in that realm. :) I can tell you through this journey, thus far, I have grown in my faith and my trust in my God and Saviour!!! It's easy to get lackadaisical in my thinking when there are regular paychecks coming in, but when have to budget over three months (for the most part) due to financial aide (and not that much either:) . . . it's tested my thinking and faith!

Back to the story. There are mixed emotions when somebody reaches out in this way. My first reaction is "I'm needy?" "Oh, I guess we don't have money for presents, so we are in need." "Are presents really a need?" Ultimately this gesture fueled something in me that lays dormant due to financial restriction, and that is that I want to bless people in this way . . . and more! We won't be in this position for long, a little more than two years at this point. And most firefighting jobs pay reasonably well. I get anxious about getting my own house, a big one so I can entertain and give people that need a place to stay . . . well, a place to stay . . . food to eat, warm clothes if need be. Justin doesn't know of this desire . . . he just knows that I like to give money out if its in my pocket (I've noticed he gives me less and less cash). :)

Ok, I'm getting back to the story. This ended up being a fantastic blessing . . . both my children had presents to open . . . plenty of adorable clothes, coats, socks, underwear (yeah, time to potty train Toby) and toys . . . plus a gift card for the Justinator and I! I'm not sure why I'm sharing so much detail. But I do want to say that God is so good!!! He knew what we needed (and wanted) and He provided. This is just an example . . . He does it every time, plus some!! I'm amazed! I'm learning to rest in Him, keep my family/life in prayer and just watch Him work. I know He's got great plans for Justin and I . . . but especially for our boys . . . I'm so grateful!!

I was struggling a bit this year with the Christmas thing and it ended up being one of the best! We met over at Tiff and Dan's for dinner. Amy and Jason were there too. It was SUCH a good time!!! Tiffany and Dan, thank you sooooo much for seafood dinner and your hospitality!!! Thank you, Jesus!

Ok, there is slideshow that follows. I have to say I got lazy with the photography at Tiff and Dan's, sorry about the minimal pics of that and how bad they are on top of it. :)

I hope all of your experiences were good this Christmas season!!!

God is Always Good!!

I just wanted to jump in here and say that I absolutely love my God and He is soooo good to us!! He protects, loves, provides and graciously calls us to be a part of His kingdom . . . bigger than us. Help me God to be obedient in what you have for me to do! . . . even if I don't, immediately, see the plan at hand. :)

on a positive note . . .

My last blog was a bit negative about the whole Christmas/Holiday thing. I am excited for Christmas it just feels different. I will always always be fond of past memories . . . it's easier to look back and see the good than to see it right in front of you. And I choose to see the good in the now . . . not just the past. We are spending Christmas day with my sister Tiffany and her husband Dan and their son Aidrik. My other sister, Amy and her husband Jason are going to be there as well. I'm very excited and happy with the way the plans went this year . . . though other plans were in order, God is always in control and He has our best interest at heart. We were able to get a few presents together (the school budget is a tight one) and grandma and grandpa Matthews did more than their fair share of present buying for my boys . . . so that part will be fun too! We might still end up with a tree . . . you never know . .

Well, it's Saturday and I'm hoping to get down to the night service tonight for church. Still gotta talk the hubby into it. :) It's a bit spendy driving to Harrisburg for church but God has provided a means to do so every weekend. Crazy and wonderful to have a God that cares so much, even about the details of life!!


I just want to end this one with pics of my boys. :) Enjoy and a Merry Merry Christmas to all!!

new day

It's Monday but doesn't feel like a Monday. Justin is completely off from school, work-study and all, for the next two weeks . . . so he's home chillin' with us. It was a relaxing day . . . we went to the park despite the nasty, rain threatening, weather and then we all took a 3 hour nap (first time in a like year), made dinner (Quiche . . . me favorite!), ate, and then hung out . . . now the boys are fast asleep. I'm just hanging out now, wasting time on the old 'puter . . . my small addiction for now.

I also wanted to say that I am an extraordinarily blessed human being (ok, that's just how I feel). It's so easy to get discontent with life as is . . . day in day out stuff. But then days like today bring home how important my family is to me. Watching dad and T throw the ball for Byron (super pooch) and splash in puddles (to mom's dismay) and Samuel cruising all over the playground and climbing the equipment. Time flies by too fast. It seems like Sam was 6 months old last week and he is now officially 16 months old!!! When? How? Where was I? Apparently buried in diapers and laundry . . . and a few dishes.

I don't want to look back 18 years from now and regret not slowing down and enjoying these small hours with the boys and what God's given me . . . I need to learn to let go and quit getting so wound tight over the small stuff!



May God, the source of hope, fill you with joy and peace through your faith in him. Then you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. --Romans 15:13

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful. -John 14:27

He reminds me over and over that HE is my peace . . . the world can't give me the core-calming peace that my Father in Heaven gives. I can't give it to myself either . . . but I do decide to trust in Him and rest in His goodness and love . . . no matter the outward circumstances.






I love you Jesus!!

Two Blabs in One Day!!!

hee hee, me again.

We're broke and I was sick of my long, one-length hair . . . so I cut it myself.

My Aunt Donna, whom I was really close to growing up, told me what to do if I ever wanted to cut my hair on my own. She told me to tip my head upside down, comb my wet hair and then cut straight across . . . Perfect layers, is what she told me I would have.

Now I've always dyed my own hair, turned out ok most of the time . . . deducting the one time I fried it off and I had to go extremely short for a summer. But with curly hair, you have some leeway (is that how you spell leeway?) . . . anyway, curly hair is hard to super screw up. So I did it . . . first time in my 30 + years I've cut my own hair. Turned out alright . . .better than some 45$ haircuts I've had . . . way better than one time, geez . . . that lady did a baaaad job. Anyhoody, I'm a bona fide dork so there is pic that follows.

Sam

My kid's name is Sam Tucker . . . sounds like a guy out of western movie. His name is Samuel, but we call him Sam, like Uncle Sam. Sometimes I wonder why I picked that particular name, though I do love it. ;) It was that or Solomon, which I'm still in love with . . . it'll have to be the next dog's name cuz there ain't no more chitlins bein' born here. :)

Anyhoo, sidetrack . . . what I wanted to say, in short, was that Sam's schedule change is now smooth and going good. And it's really nice to have a chunk of time in the middle of the day to do work or to waste time, like now. :)

Thank you God for your grace and peace in my household!!

hi . . . me again. :)

And He will be the stability of your times, A wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge; The fear of the LORD is his treasure. -Isaiah 33:6

Jesus is my stability, no matter what the circumstances are, the fear of the Lord brings me back to Him again and again . . . being fully aware of that it is He that keeps me and my family, and is my peace no matter what.

Thank Jesus, He is my discipline and that discipline (if I'm compliant) is my safety and my shield. He is love, so all He does is out of love towards me.

Thank you Jesus for meeting me this week and teaching me, again, about humility and putting you first. I am not in control, no matter what my contorted mind tells me . . . You are and I trust you with that!

Tucker Slideshow

Samster Sched Change

Since Sam was about 6 months old I have had him on the same schedule; two naps a day, morning and evening . . . then bedtime at 7:30pm. He's nearing 16 months old and lately his second nap is really short 30 min (does he REALLY go to sleep?) or sitting in there making noises for an hour and a half, getting mad near the end of the time. So I finally, after 2 weeks, have picked up on the clue that he's ready to mooove it down to one nap a day. Which is what I've been dreaming of for 16 months . . . cuz then he would be on the same nap schedule as his older and only brother. Ah, 2 hours of non-baby in the middle of the day! But today is the 3rd day. And with Samuel the third day is the hardest with schedule changes for him. So he was quiet for the first half an hour but is now protesting the nap time . . . and has been for about an hour. He's got 37 minutes left in the prison of Sam (his crib) and he then will be set free . . . by bedtime he'll be falling down tired. Amazingly it went fabulous yesterday . . . but today . . . no go. That's the pattern of Sam though, third sucks. Sometimes he even protests bedtime when his schedule is changed. I don't know what triggers that. It doesn't seem like it should be that hard of thing . . . but so goes life. T is sleeping right on through it! hee hee. I love my boys, they're awesome!!! I never thought I would love being a parent, but I do!

Oh oh, he's got 32 min left in the prison of Sam. :)

Me Hubby

Ok, I don't brag much . . . about myself or anyone. But I'm going to brag about Justin because I know he never will. :)

The first term ended for him this past week. He aced all of his classes, all 18 credits worth as well as received high marks in his regular shift he pulls at the fire department each week. They did the end of the term evaluations and asked him and one other guy in his shift to be 2nd year officers next year! That is fantastic by the way! The chief said his only concern is that a fire department is going to want to hire Justin full time before he graduates and he wants him to stay on and graduate. I second that! The paramedic training he will get in the 3rd year is priceless!! So I made him promise me to he'd see it through.

It is a rigorous course and requires him to be at school A LOT! So be praying for us as a family . . . that I have patience and grace to see it through as well. :) I feel like a single parent a lot but God's grace is sufficient . . . and to see Justin excited and happy in what he's doing pays off so much! And there has been confirmation and confirmation that this is the right path for us .

So that is my bragging for the day. I'm head over heels for J and it's fun to brag about him, he's the hardest worker I know and smart to boot!

Gave up . . .

Alright, as a follow up of last night's blog about 'when to give up'. I gave up. It basically turned into tar, unedible tar. So I made a trip to our local Wal Mart at 9pm and picked up the necessary ingredients to make the cookies yet again. :) I took it as a challenge. Yeah, by the way it was the 2 cups of flour that I left out of the first cookie batter mix that killed it (doy!). I don't know how I missed that on the recipe, but I managed. It takes pretty decent skill to pull something like that off. :)

Anyhoo, made the cookies last night, 2 dozen . . . left the kitchen dirty and went to bed at midnight. Yep, it was waiting for me to clean this morning . . . no fairy kitchen cleaning elves helped me out this time. But the second round went well. The cookies turned out fabulous, the small cookie exchange will happen at 4pm today and I'm excited to hand them over to my loving and supportive older sister. :) She ended up with 2 lbs of milk chocolate fudge w/mini-marshmallows topped with crushed toffee and walnuts. 2 lbs of dark choco fudge with walnuts throughout, topped with peanut butter cream topping. and many many chocolate cookies w/toffee pieces, white choco chips, and walnuts . . . sounds simplified written down, too bad those cookies took me about 10 hours to make!

Anyhoo, it was a blast. I'm finding my tom-boy self turning domestic before my eyes! Growing up I lived, breathed and dreamed horses and outdoor stuff. Now I live for my God, my boys and my family! Horses are a bonus, not life. Jesus is life.

When to give up . . .

Ok, we do a family drawing every holiday season, mostly because we have a huge family, to see who we're going to buy for this year. I decided I wanted to make a candy/cookie dish for my lucky pick of the year. So I faithfully have been researching different recipes I wanted to do for the past 2 weeks or so. Prior to going to the grocery store this morning I wrote down the ingredients that I needed to get for each, several were simple fudge but one was a relatively complicated cookie recipe.

Ok, I make cookies at least once a week. Not necessarily for me to eat, though I indulge periodically, but mostly for the kids and hubby. So I know what cookie batter is suppose to look like, in general. So I look at this 'relatively complicated' cookie recipe approximately 50 times to make sure I get the gist of what I am undertaking and for the correct ingredients.

I make it to the grocery store this morning, pick up the ingredients, come home, make one batch of fudge (turned out nicely by the way) and proceed on my 'relatively complicated' cookies.

I mix the batter, add the nuts, white choco chips, crushed up heath bar . . . I look at it and even speak out loud to Justin "This is really moist for cookie batter, can you look up the recipe" . . . and I gave him the address. I looked at it for the 51st time and relented to the fact the batter was complete and went on to put them in the oven.

5 minutes later I open the oven door to check on my prize cookies and they are melted allllll over the pan, the cookie sheet . . . dripping off into the bottom of my oven. Yeah, not any cookie forms what so ever! Aaack!

This is when Justin got involved. We decided to put it into a pie pan and let the batter cook itself into solidification and just cut it and treat it like candy cuz it had a lot of candy in it. Yeah, it cooked for over an hour and never solidified. So Justin takes it out . . . pours the hot batter into a metal bowl. He mixes flour and water together in the blender and adds it and then keeps adding flour until is a little thicker. We put a singular dollop onto a cookie sheet . . . Yay, it somewhat reminds me of a cookie. Justin suggests putting it all into a cake pan and cooking it like brownies.

Right now the cake pan is sitting in the oven, the oven is still on . . . it's NOT solidifying.

When do you give up?

doubt

Don't Fight the Problem, Decide it. --George C. Marshall

Isn't this true! Doubt God and automatically unrest follows suite! I decide to trust you God in all circumstances, including this financial challenge.

Thank you, Jesus!

True love

So, it's been on my heart for a bit, I'm not sure how long . . . on just how humble Jesus was and is. He is into the lowly and downtrodden.

I went to church, the boys in tow, this Sunday (as usual) and Mark Estes was preaching. He preached THE best sermon I've heard on love. And I've a heard a few here and there. :) The message was on something that I've been pondering, just not as elegantly (or more so funny) as Mark Estes preached it Sunday. How Christian people decide, at some point, they are better than the "sinner" . . . the prostitute, the bum on the corner that smells of hard liquor, the panhandler, the next door neighbor that obviously lives an indecent lifestyle . . . should I keep naming them? How about the woman that looses her baby due to a hard-core drug habit or the abuser or the guy in prison for murder? Where would we be without the grace and the blood of our savior?!?!?! I'm convicted. Where is the compassion that Jesus showed the tax-collectors and the prostitutes and the woman at the well . . . she was obviously a "lower class" than he. By the way, that wasn't the core of his message Sunday . . . the core of his message was that there were two commands given in the new testament by Jesus, one to love the Lord your God with all you heart, with all your mind, with all your soul and with all your strength . . . the other is equally important . . . to love your neighbor as yourself. Not picking and choosing who God puts into our little protected worlds, but LOVE who's there. Stop making appearance what matters, start making people matter. Stop praying, stop singing, stop preaching, stop talking about love and compassion . . . and start doing it! Not that praying, singing, preaching and talking are bad, but it does become stagnant if there is no flow or action.

Ok, I'm not preaching to anyone . . . I'm seriously convicted! I can be pretty judgmental at times and it all boils down to my pride (insecurities, which is still pride, I'm still the one I'm focused on).

He talked about true evangelism is not preaching at people and praying for them and doing nothing for their true needs. Meet them where they are at . . . meet the needs as you see them, God is showing you on purpose! This will speak louder than any religious prayer or any well written tract and will last longer than any worship service . . . face to face with the true love of our savior and to keep showing that . . . meeting needs and mentoring (if necessary) . . . is what saves!

I just pray for more of a heart after Jesus'. To get my earth-bound eyes off myself and circumstances and to settle into loving my Lord extravagantly and choosing to humble myself and show that love to all that are around me . . . yeah, my fam too . . . which is the hardest sometimes. :) They're always here! hee hee I know I've failed people in the past, 2 particular people come to mind, and I just ask God to forgive me . . . to bring me back into their lives or bring someone else to show them how much God loves them, beyond words, beyond songs and smiling church faces . . . core-changing, powerful God!! There is so much power in the love of our savior . . . He loves us so much He refuses to accept those things in us that keep us from being closer to Him! And pride is a big one for me. I lay it down God, again and again and again!

Our harry baby

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